Actual spam
Ok, maybe I am just really easily amused today, but I saw this one liner spam turn up in my email today and I just started laughing. "I get a lot of questions on how I got my 9 inch dick" My head just took me in all directions with that one. He gets questions about it? Sure 9 inches is big, but it's not exactly as large as some that I could get. And he makes it sound like an accessory, like a handbag. Did they know what he had BEFORE he got it? Is he transgender? Just the fun of working Christmas eve I guess!

I was sitting in a bar one night, when a man sat down next to me and set a box on the bar. He looked at me and said, "Wanna see something cool?" I said, "Sure." So, he lifted a miniature piano and bench out of the box and set them on the bar. Then he reached back inside, and brought out a tiny man, about 1 foot tall, and set him down next to the piano. The man was wearing a tiny tailored tuxedo. He took a bow, seated himself at the piano, and began to play. Within a minute the bar had gotten quiet as the strains of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata spread out around us, played masterfully. When it was over, I looked at the man and said, "That's the most amazing thing I've ever seen!" He laughed and said, "Well, if you think that's amazing, check this out." He lifted what looked like some kind of brass urn out of the box. It was tarnished, with a large handle on one end and some sort of spout on the other, although it looked like it had been handled a lot. "What's that?" I asked. "What does it look like? It's a genie lamp." Well, I was a bit dubious, but there was the tiny guy sitting at the piano to consider, so I said, "Okay, show me." So, he handed me the lamp and instructed me to rub it. I felt totally silly doing so, and after about thirty seconds of nothing happening I felt even sillier. But then suddenly smoke began to pour out the spout, and an honest to God genie shimmered into view. "Who has stroked my lamp?" the genie said. Timidly I raised my hand, and said, "That would be me, I guess." "Thank you for releasing me for the evening. Your wish is my command." I looked at the man next to me, then back to the genie, and said, "How does that work, exactly?" "Just speak your wish and I will grant it," said the genie. I thought for a second (maybe I should have taken more time) but I decided to keep it simple and said, "I wish for a million bucks." Well, the next thing I knew they were everywhere, flapping, quacking, shitting, knocking over people's drinks, and generally raising hell--what looked like thousands of ducks. Through the windows of the bar I could see the parking lot was covered with them as far as the eye could see. The genie looked around proudly, clearly entertained by the mayhem. I managed to keep a duck from biting the little man. I thought to myself, "Buck, duck, duck, buck," then looked at the patron next to me and yelled over the noise, "What the fuck, is he deaf?" "Well, you didn't think I asked for a twelve inch pianist, did ya?"

LOL!!!

*snort*

About the opening spam: "I get a lot of questions on how I got my 9 inch dick" Maybe the speaker is the possessive companion of the person with the 9 incher. Bayou Bill 8)

One just hopes the possessor is still attached to it? Otherwise there would indeed be a lot of questions, I imagine.

Oooh thats the only way that that piece of spam makes sense. I realise that spam isnt often well written, but that just boggled me! Of course the question remains, is he parading his decently hung companion around with him? Heh, nice one Marguerite!

Good joke, Marguerite. :-D