[Challenge] Vampires

Very cool, Cup. I doubt I'd put the same research into the one I thought to do (likely won't, not for a very long time). The plot in mine wouldn't need a lot of research.

Oooh! You all writing your ideas of your ideal vamp, but I thought we were gonna WRITE about them! C'mon people! Let's see them in stories! I wrote this first 1k+ words for a submission to Cobblestone their Vamp Tarot line. Didn't go anywhere but I have the plot and back story and the characters so I may use it for NaNo. What you think? ****************** The Vampire Oracle: Battle By Smotp© Chapter one The club smelt like most others she and Chloe had been in tonight; spilt cocktails, designer fragrances underscored by sweat and stale smoke with that edge of burning rope. This one had a metallic scent underlying everything else; Zina frowned and then recognised it, the night club smelt of blood. That’s all I need, she thought, to get into a brawl and end up in ER, Matt would probably be on call. Typical, I go out to forget him and end up having him stitch me back together, shit. “Come on Chloe let’s go, this is a real dive.” Zina shouted pointlessly in Chloe’s ear, she could feel the dance music in her gut it was so loud. I’ll have buzzing in my ears for days, she thought. The room lighting was purple, red and violet, so dark that she could only see the gleam in Chloe’s eyes and teeth. She felt nauseous. Chloe saw the look on her face and nodded but took her hand and pulled her towards the washrooms instead of the exit. “Isn’t this place great?” Chloe shouted over the music still thudding through two doors and a solid wall. “The girls say this is a really cool venue, hot guys and a banging vibe.” “I don’t know about that I just know my head is going to be banging tomorrow.” Zina said, checking her makeup and hair in the big mirror. Two other girls were repairing already perfect lip gloss, their cool blonde looks a contrast to her own coffee cream skin and midnight sable hair. “I think I’ve had enough, can we call it a night,” glancing at her watch Zina added, “early morning, it’s after two.” “You said you wanted a girlie night out, you said Matt was a shit. You said you needed to flush him from your system with some serious alcohol, girl!” Chloe grinned at her in the mirror, adjusting spaghetti straps to better support her apple round breasts. The satin mini shift was in carmine, the pair to Zina’s in electric blue. “Yeah, well I must’ve flushed him about four screwdrivers ago,” Zina said. “We’re here now Zee, what the fuck, let’s dance a little and see how we feel, huh? What harm is there in that?” *** Zina felt him before she saw him, like the pressure wave when a truck speeds past you as you were just about to step off the curb. She spun around, slipping her hips to the rhythm and saw his silhouette against the lights. Broad and tall, a head above the rippling dancers, creating a bow wave of flesh as he strode toward her. It was his eyes that took the breath from her chest, like infinite holes with stars buried at the bottom. He reached for her and she gave him her hand unthinking, his long cool fingers curling around hers like steel cables. “I have not seen you here before,” he said. It was the oddest thing, he didn’t seem to raise his voice but his velvet words cut through the music as though they were alone in a quiet wood. His eyes were surrounded by a strong face, square chin softened by unfashionably long hair that tumbled to his shoulders and beyond. “I, uh, I’m here with my friend.” Zina vaguely gestured at where she imagined Chloe was dancing “Chloe heard of this place and we thought we might try it. Chloe?” she looked around to introduce her and saw the red dress, ivory skin and long black hair wrapped around a tall dark figure. They were attached from the knee up and paying no attention to anything else. “Chloe seems to like my associate,” his voice trickled over her like cool honey and she felt a tremble in her stomach with the beginnings of a sensation deeper down. I have had too much to drink, Zina thought, watch it girl this guy’s way too much, just stay cool. “May we dance?” he asked. “Oh yes please.” That was cool, she thought, you sure played hard to get. Zina was engulfed, wrapped in his arms and swept up to glide over the floor. Zina could feel him move against all of her and it was like they were already making love. She slid her hands along his ribs and up his back to cup his shoulder blades. Under his silk jacket she imagined her fingers on the smooth skin beneath the thin shirt where his muscles bunched and flexed. He bowed his head to hers, his cheek cool. She felt his lips like feathers, pick their way to her ear, sucking in her lobe between sharp teeth and she shivered. He smelt fresh, clean with a hint of citrus soap. Burying her face in his hair she inhaled him, sipping his essence and it made her writhe as they danced. His hands were wandering and she didn’t care. Everywhere his finger tips touched they trailed pearls of fiery sensation and she could feel a familiar pressure building in her pelvis. Dear God. If he touches me I just know I’ll come, Zina thought, what the hell is this? As though he read her mind she felt strong fingers smooth her dress against her hip, then oh so slowly slide under the hem to tease up along her inner thigh as she moaned in response. A high tension jolt, like a lightning strike sparked between them. He leapt away from her as she staggered to stay upright. “What. How did, what did you do to me?” Zina was struggling to remain coherent as he just stared at her from a distance. “I did not realise,” he said, “You have a power…?” Zina stumbled and felt someone catch her under her arms. “Zee, Zee are you OK, what happened?” “Chloe! The asshole tried to feel me up with a tazer, can we go home, please?” “Sure girl, my Mr Wonderful seems to have disappeared anyway.” *** “Seigneur?” The dark figure turned towards the speaker’s voice, away from a glowing bank of CCTV monitors surveying all areas of the club. Hair like a thick curtain shadowed his eyes in the dim overhead light. “Have them followed. Send one of the help, find out where the dark one lives and who she is.” From the doorway the first speaker smiled broadly and said, “As you desire, Seigneur.” Shrouded eyes blazing with intensity, the dark man snarled back, “Do not harm her!” *** Her head throbbed like she knew it would. The morning coffee tasted sour and the juice acid on her tongue as Zina sat in her tiny kitchen with half opened mail strewn on the table with the cooling toast. She was holding a card What the hell, she thought, is this one of Nana’s cryptic little notes? The plain white delivery envelope was postmarked El Dorado Springs, Colorado 80025. Does Nana have any friends in Colorado, she thought. The card was from one of those cheap Tarot sets printed up with odd images to sell to tourists, nothing like the real thing. Zina used a traditional, well worn Rider Waite set that Nana, her grandmother had given her when she reached menarche. This card was just weird, she thought, not any one of the Major Arcana and there was a legend at the bottom. Battle. *** <1,255 words> Chapter two Zina checked the kitchen clock and calculated time zones in her head. Nearly three in the morning is not a good time to call an old woman, she thought. Nana was a tough old bird but death comes calling most often in the early hours. She did not want to upset her grandmother. I’ll try her during coffee, she thought and left the mess in the kitchen to get ready for work. *** “No princess I do not know who sent it to you,” Nana’s voice was attenuated by the phone. Zina was calling from the nurse's station during the mid morning lull. "But I have been expecting your call." "Why would I call Nana. Have you seen something?" Zina asked. "Someone, little one. A man, very dark and dangerous. The cards are vague about him, he is an outsider. He is close to you?" Nana made the statement a question. "I just broke up with Matt Nana, I'm not looking for a new heartbreaker," as she said the words the guy's eyes from last night were a fleeting image. "I have seen something like the Tarot you describe but it was a long while ago. I was down South and a deal younger. I was working for a lady, an actress. Well to tell the truth she had been in some plays but she kept herself well with a string of men with fat wallets." "Nana I'm in the middle of my shift, fascinating though your naughty stories are I have to go. Is there anything else?" Zina smiled down the phone. Her grandmother had a colourfull history and always amazed her with something. "The card is telling you of a difficulty ahead. You may need to think carefully about who you help. A partnership is a sharing and what they have to offer you may not want. Be careful darling, there are plans all around you. I can't see properly the full extent." "Nana I have to go, my supervisor is a cow and I'm already on her shit list. I'll call you? Love you, bye." Zina hung up just as Mary reached the station. "Yes?" Her supervisor asked, eyebrow raised. "Relative of Mrs Atkins in 4, calling about her condition," Zina said. Mary frowned and spun on her heel to barrel away down the corridor, oozing disatisfaction.

Very cool, Cup. I doubt I'd put the same research into the one I thought to do (likely won't, not for a very long time). The plot in mine wouldn't need a lot of research. I needed to do the research because I was trying to put a twist on certian aspects of theology and vampire lore. Hopefully, you won't have to go through some of that mind-numbing research.

Smopt, it needs some fleshing out, but you're off to a good start.

Heh, I was about to say 'where's the rest, bro?'. Cups right. A great start. I'm busy writing away and realising that I haven't lost my internal, doubting editors. They have just developed into strangely more insidious beings. Now they attack me from directions I'd never have guessed before! Now they try to shock me with relevations about the plot or whatnot. I'm still writing though, but anyone who knows me knows that this is gonna end up urban and vampire. Jeesus, I just can't shake that god awful Dracula in Brooklyn crap with Eddie Murphy! I KNOW I do more justice to black vampires than that crap ... I guess it's because vampires are so strongly an European myth, right?

Heh, I was about to say 'where's the rest, bro?'. Cups right. A great start. I'm busy writing away and realising that I haven't lost my internal, doubting editors. They have just developed into strangely more insidious beings. Now they attack me from directions I'd never have guessed before! Now they try to shock me with relevations about the plot or whatnot. I'm still writing though, but anyone who knows me knows that this is gonna end up urban and vampire. Jeesus, I just can't shake that god awful Dracula in Brooklyn crap with Eddie Murphy! I KNOW I do more justice to black vampires than that crap ... I guess it's because vampires are so strongly an European myth, right? One word: Blade. Vamps might be strongly European, but they don't need to be. To be honest, I really should include more racial diversity in my writing. Bad!Cup, no font!.

Jeesus, I just can't shake that god awful Dracula in Brooklyn crap with Eddie Murphy! I KNOW I do more justice to black vampires than that crap ... It was the "Scream, Blackula, Scream" that shocked the shit outta me when I was a kid. Vampire in Brooklyn was just the depressing icing on the cake for me. As for Blade...well it redeemed the black vampire in my eyes...too bad they killed the series with Blade 3 and the tv version.

Smopt, it needs some fleshing out, but you're off to a good start. Hmmm Fleshing. Explain Fleshing. Do you mean tearing, biting, chewing, swallowing or something more mundane? :twisted: I jest! :lol: The writing is stripped to the bone for me. I had 1000 words to get the concept together, characterise and get the stoopid Tarot card into the mix! Cobblestone's brief was very restrictive but a good discipline. :( I don't do flash fiction, I like texture, cinematic description and words, lotsa words!

I don't do flash either, Smotp. Hate it, for the most part. Never much liked short stories either, though I do edit them. I prefer novella sized stories and bigger. I like to sink into a story, not get whiplash. I find most short fiction has a whip that lashes a point across. I always feel a little cheated. Never get a chance to grab the whip.

I don't do flash either, Smotp. Hate it, for the most part. Never much liked short stories either, though I do edit them. I prefer novella sized stories and bigger. I like to sink into a story, not get whiplash. I find most short fiction has a whip that lashes a point across. I always feel a little cheated. Never get a chance to grab the whip. I can do shorts. I seem to have a 3k - 4k quota for a short. Enough for me to cover the specific concept. That also seems to be the optimum size for a chapter for me. However when I have something between my teeth I like to keep on worrying at it until it comes out in full, so to speak. :wink:

God, how did I forget Blade! Probably because I hated the movie versions. I don't much like Wesley Snipes as an actor. I loved the TV version though, as much as people hated Kirk Whatshisname in the role. I thought the TV series showed surprising depth and continuality in plot. Well, there we go, I do have a black vamp to think of. But he certainly isn't your usual seduce and control sort of vamp.

Smopt, it needs some fleshing out, but you're off to a good start. Hmmm Fleshing. Explain Fleshing. Do you mean tearing, biting, chewing, swallowing or something more mundane? :twisted: I jest! :lol: The writing is stripped to the bone for me. I had 1000 words to get the concept together, characterise and get the stoopid Tarot card into the mix! Cobblestone's brief was very restrictive but a good discipline. :( I don't do flash fiction, I like texture, cinematic description and words, lotsa words! I face a similar situation. It was a 9,000 word limit call of submissons and the story obviously needed more words. I was murdering that story trying to cram it into the word count. I stopped that story and created another one that could be properly told in 9,000 words. Not all stories are for all calls of submission. Don't "strip" a story "to the bone" just to make it fit. You're cheating your reader when you do that.

God, how did I forget Blade! Probably because I hated the movie versions. I don't much like Wesley Snipes as an actor. I loved the TV version though, as much as people hated Kirk Whatshisname in the role. I thought the TV series showed surprising depth and continuality in plot. Well, there we go, I do have a black vamp to think of. But he certainly isn't your usual seduce and control sort of vamp. Oh! But he could be. I should say that I've not seen the TV series and I think Wesley Snipes is completely lickable. So, I can TOTALLY see an ultra-badass like Blade getting it on. *whimper*

Well he SHOULD be so, but I just don't like Snipes at all. His roles seem so wooden. I think Kirk Jones did a great job of Blade, but most people complained that he wasn't Snipes. Typical that the series was canned after one season. They said they weren't getting enough girls watching it. Despite the fact it was run on a guys cable channel (Spike). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blade:_The_Series I think Jones is entirely lickable! Actually my first real person slash was about him.

My vampire is more subtle, more human, less wings and more feline lurking in the shadows. He does not drink blood, oh no, to messy on a silk shirt; he is an energy vampire. He searches for innocent young women (a difficult occupation in this modern age) he seduces them, lures them into a world of the occult, the undead, enslaves them, then prostitutes them for mens' pleasure. He watches, the ultimate voyeur as she teases her victim, luring the prey into an intense sexual frenzy culminating in the release of energy in mutual orgasm on which he feeds; Maybe, Mysteral we can do something about this little fantasy of yours.... :twisted:

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