I just sacnned through the book until i found a sentence I could dstand to use. I've never been able to come up with a good tag line... Well, you wrote the line originally. And it takes a degree of discipline and creativity just to find one. :wink: Kitkat

If I was a vehicle... I'd be some old pick up truck with three different colors. The main color would be primer gray. There'd be scratches and dents all over the place. I'd have a rattle that would make you wonder if you're going to make it home, but I'd always get you home. There'd be two old men standing around me while they took a break from their checkers game in front of the local dime store. They'd tell stories about my dents. The story would get taller with every telling. "This right here is from when that big buck jumped out in front of me on old 60. Now, we didn't call it 60 back then. No, sir, we called it 'Cracket Holler'. This buck had at least fifteen points and it was a good ten feet tall shoulder to road. The trees over the holler hung way down like they were gonna get you and carry you off to parts unknown…" If I was a bird... I'd be a woodpecker who people thought lived in the same tree for twice my natural lifetime. Two old men would take a break from their checker game to tell stories about how long I'd been in my old pine tree. "I remember that bird before you were in long pants, Stan." "You old fool, you didn't know me before I was in long pants." "Horseshit. I knew you and that bird knew you. You're getting senile." "You're getting senile. Your move." "Nah, it's your move." If I was a plant... I'd be a Venus Fly Trap that lived in conditions two dry for it to survive, but I'd keep living. Two old men, Stan and Vic, would keep me near their checker board to keep the flies away. "Vic, that plant's got your shirt again." "You're seeing things. You need get your eyes checked." "It's eating your flannel. Did I ever tell you about that buck that hit my truck? I was down on old Cracket Holler. That's 60 now." "You've told me. Take your move or I'm taking mine." "It was a twenty point buck. Huge beast! Vic, take your finger off your checker before I break it." If I was an article of clothing... I'd be a comfortable flannel shirt on some old guy named Vic. He'd wear me even if I was thread bare. I'd have holes that he couldn't explain and stains that seemed to get worse with every washing. They'd play checkers and talk about me. "I've got you on the run now, Stan." "Horseshit, Vic. You ain't winning this one. What you got on your shirt there?" "Oh, I don't know. Butterscotch pudding probably." "Mabel sure does make a good butterscotch pudding. That woodpecker likes it." "Stan, woodpeckers don't eat butterscotch pudding." "Bull! I seen it! Sitting in your kitchen window tearing into that butterscotch pudding like it was his last meal. Probably flew off with the whole damn bowl and sharing it with that huge buck on Cracket Holler." "Stan, you trying to tell me a woodpecker and buck are eating Mabel's pudding?" "That's exactly what I'm telling you. That ain't no normal buck. Twenty-five points easy. Survived a direct hit that almost totaled my truck. He's probably got a whole harem of doe out there near the holler. " "Did you just move, Stan?" "Yeah, I did." "It was my move." "It was my move, Vic. Did you take your pills today? 'Cause you ain't right." If I was a musical instrument... I'd be a Jew's Harp that had been passed down through four generations of Stan's family. I'd get older every time Stan would tell my story. Stan would take me everywhere with him out of some odd fear that a woodpecker and a buck wanted to steal me and dunk me in butterscotch pudding. "Can you even play that thing anymore, Stan? Or do you just carry it around to feel special?" "Hell yeah, I can play it. My pappy played it. My grandpappy played it and his grandpappy and his. It's in my blood. This harp was here before Cracket Holler got gravel. Let me tell you she sounds a sweet as the day she was made." "You can't play it. You've never played. You just carry it around with you." "This here harp is a valuable family heirloom. I keep it with me to keep it safe." "Afraid someone's gonna get in your truck and steal your harp? And you say I need to take my pills." "I keep telling you, Vic. That big woodpecker is eyeing it. They like them shiny things. Take it back to his nest. Probably give it to that buck. If you ever see this in Mabel's pudding you better give it back to me." If I was an animal...I'd be a spider in the window of a country dime story. I'd spend my time weaving my web while two old friends talked more than they played checkers. When the wind blew the threads of my web would vibrate like the tongue of a Jew's Harp. Every so often a confused Venus Fly Trap would steal my prey. Sometimes a woodpecker would eye me and I'd get the strange feeling he wants me in butterscotch pudding. I'd often think about running away and hitching a ride on the shoulder of a flannel shirt, but a loud truck would scare me right back into my corner window. I'd be happy there where I could carefully spin my web. :D This was a lot of fun!

If I was a vehicle... I would be a Jeep 4X4, so I could be rode hard and put up wet with out worry of rusting too much. But, because I am a Jeep, and I am usually taken out to be played with :D my owner would frequently fix any rust spots with bondough (sp) and then I would be rubbed down, polished to a nice shine and then taken back out into the mountains or dirt to play again. If I was a bird... I would be an Eagle, a bald Eagle, a majestic, revered, aw-inspiring bird that many could look up to. If I was a plant... I would be a tulip, a deep maroon colored tulip, so I could bring beauty to the world, a pleasing fragrance to the nose, joy to the eye, come up every year and give birth yearly as well. If I was an article of clothing... I would be a comfortable black lace bra and panty set, one that would be so comfortable I would be worn all of the time, under all clothing or under non at all! If I was a musical instrument... I would be a fiddle, not a violin, a fiddle. I prefer the way folks hold a fiddle and the beautiful sounds that come from this instrument. Being a fiddle I could be held often, polished periodically, stroked regularly, because with a lot of practice my owner would make me sing! I would be able to make sounds that would sooth the heart, make you cry and cause you to stomp your foot and maybe I could even make you get up and dance! If I was a furry animal... I would be a Bouvier de Flounders dog. Grey brindle to be exact. I would be a big bitch dog with a wonderful temperament. I would be loving, loyal, devoted to the right owner/master, I would be protective to all within my family, my human family. I would know the difference between adults who make bitable offences and children who make mistakes. I would not shed either! But would have a soft coat, that if cut short enough is soft and furry. :P

If I was a vehicle... I would be a Jeep 4X4. Yellow, bright yellow, built for stout, so I could be taken out in the mud, driven hard and put up wet, without too much worry of rusting. I would be owned by someone who loved his Jeep so much that he would wash me, polish me and show me off. If I was a bird... I would be a majestic eagle, an American Bald Eagle. A bird many could look up to, a bird that represented pride and honor. If I was a plant... I would be a tulip, a dark maroon tulip. I would be an inspiring, beautiful plant that brought joy to the eye, a light perfume to the nose, represented love, as the dark center of a tulip represents love’s passion. I would be given from one lover to another to declare love. I would, in addition, be a plant that came back year after year and one that gave birth to others so they may bring continued joy to onlookers. If I was an article of clothing... I would be a set of comfortable black lace bra and panty set, one that would inspire the owner to wear it under all of her clothing… or daily under nothing at all. I would, no matter my wearer, be figure flattering and cause those who were privy to its sight to drool and make them want to caress the lace and that which it holds. If I was a musical instrument... I would be a fiddle. Not a violin, a fiddle, because I like the way a fiddle is held. I would be a shapely butterrnut piece of wood with a ebony neckpiece. I would be loved by my owner. My owner would rub me down weekly, if not daily and polish me. I would, because practice makes all fiddle players better, be taken out daily and played. I would be strummed slowly at first, and as I was played… the strumming would increase in speed. I would bring a beautiful nose to the ear of all who could hear. I would be vestal – at times I would make you cry, make you smile, inspire you to tap your foot alone with me and my beat. And I would even make you get up and dance – a buckle polishing two-step and then a fast cotton-eye-joe. I would also be taken to church where the horse hair bow would be pulled across my strings to accompany a beautiful voice singing “Amazing Grace.” If I was a furry animal... I would be a Bouvier de Flanders, a grey brindle bitch, to be exact. I would be devoted to my human family. I would be protective, loyal and know the difference between adults bitable offences and children’s mistakes. I would not shed. I would be loving and give my life protecting my humans.

If I were a vehicle... Hmm. Can't give you a brand, because cars bore me to tears, but I assure you, the seat would be soft and give a smoooth ride. If I were a bird... I'd be a chickadee. Cheerful, sociable, a little silly. If I were a plant... I would be cacao. I've been in training all my life. If I were an article of clothing... I'd be a vintage silk kimono. If I were a musical instrument... I'd be a harmonica. If I were a furry animal... Uh, I am. But I just joined a health club with a pool, so I'll be taking care of that soon.

Oooh what fun!
If I was a vehicle... I’d be a 1967 Shelby GT 500, Eleanor by name and gone in 60 seconds If I was a bird... I’d be a phoenix, persevering…always If I was a plant... I’d be bamboo, filled with luck for all who dare attempt to grow me If I was an article of clothing... I’d be a pair of thongs- sexy, barely there, risque and fun If I was a musical instrument... I’d be a piano- melodious and romantic to all who listen to my tune of love If I was a furry animal...I’d be a cat, curled in a ball by my Masters feet, purring contentedly